Stable Condition

Recently I received a call from the owner of the barn where my horse is stabled.  “Panama is acting weird,” she said and described the symptoms of a mild case of colic. I had been stressed about a couple of looming deadlines, but all thoughts of work instantly fled. I fired off an email apology to the client whose project I was working on, and made tracks out the door.

Colic in horses can be quite serious, but luckily in Panama’s case it wasn’t. He was already coming around a bit by the time I arrived, so I worked him lightly, which is supposed to keep a colicky horse from rolling and getting his intestines twisted. When I was confident that Panama was no longer in danger, I tied him up and spent some time grooming him – an activity that soothes me as much as it does him.

By the time I turned Panama back out into the pasture, nearly two hours had passed since I arrived at the barn. I made my way to a couple of the other boarders, who had fussed over Panama with me and were now watching the other horses.  One of them looked at her watch and exclaimed, “Time passes so quickly here!” I was instantly reminded of all of the guilty afternoons I’ve spent at the barn, grooming, riding or simply watching the herd graze when I technically should have been home working. I head out for a quick ride or a training session, and end up spending hours surrounded by horses, soaking up the sun and their unhurried way of life.

Of course, I know what the alternative is, as I was a freelance writer long before I was a horse owner. Pre-Panama, there were times when I didn’t get out of the house for days at a time. Walking outside to pick up the newspaper began to seem unspeakably exciting, and chatting with a neighbor for five minutes was a social event. When my cabin fever got too strong, I would beg my husband to go somewhere, anywhere, with me, just to get out of the house. “But I haven’t been home all day!” he would protest. Since he worked away from home, his idea of relaxing was hanging out around the house. Since I never left, I couldn’t wait to get away!

All of that changed when I became a horse owner. My equine responsibilities ensure that I rarely go two days in a row without leaving the house – if I miss more than one day at the barn, I start to fret about neglecting Panama. The truth is, though, that it’s less about neglecting Panama and more about neglecting myself – forgetting that I need to get out and enjoy something other than my work from time to time. I crave the smell of horse sweat and sun; I live for Panama’s affectionate nickers. I never thought I could love anything more than writing, yet when I am at the barn I forget all about it.

Oddly enough, I think I am happier about my work than I was before, not to mention better at it. I experience fewer burnouts, and having less time to work has made me value my time (and increase my rates) a little more. Whereas before, working long hours seemed like the right thing to do, Panama has made me realize how important diversification is. Focusing all of one’s energies on one thing is never healthy, no matter how much you love what you do. Even the most dedicated workhorse needs to be able to kick up her heels and run with the wind every once in a while.